| Snow Waz & the 7 Dweebs (by E. H. Maze) Starring Wicked Queen Squippache, Snow Waz, and the 7 Dweebs. And, introducing for the first time in decades, the return of Mirror! Mirror! On the Wall (as himself). Featuring Sleazy, Slumpy, Dumb (as a rock) Doc, Dumber, Gumpy (who loves shrimp), Bonehead, and Dumpy - also known as the Seven Dweebs. ================================================================= CHAPTER SIX
Okay, this is the really corny fairy tale part. But, like I said (way back before Mirror! Mirror! opened his big mouth and got Snow in all this trouble and she had to run away), it really happened. Snow tossed and turned all night. She had decided while she was trying to sleep to change her name back to Snow. She agreed with the Dweebs that Fuzzy was not a girl's name. It was especially, she decided, not a woman's name. And, she was a woman, she knew that. This night, for some reason, she felt very much like a woman. She had her first private shower in she didn't know how long. Until today she had been showering in the very, very tiny, little waterfall that fed into the stream that flowed with talking fish. She could hear them laughing at her (giggling, really, because talking fish can't laugh) and making fun of her long legs and all the different bumps on her body. They were most shocked by how long her hair was. They thought she was missing a gill, because when her hair was wet it looked like one long fin. Snow couldn't explain it to them because they couldn't understand her language. She just knew they were making fun of her. There is nothing worse than talking fish who don't make sense. Do you know what I mean? Now, freshly cleaned, and although the thin bed sheet spread only from her knees to her shoulders and the fact that the Dweebs only had time and material to make the thinnest of under garments, Snow felt warm and secure - on the outside. Inside, she felt confused all over again. She was tossing and turning, fighting with the sheet. But, she was, also, fighting with her heart. Where would she go now? Did she have to go? Yes, she decided. The Queen would come for her. No, she decided. She didn't have to run anymore. She was a grown woman, capable of making her own way. She could return home, marry that prince, and create a coup to overthrow that wicked Queen Squippache. Or, she could keep moving from town to town, forest to field, mountain to shore. Dumb Doc shouldn't have been watching her. He was simply strolling outside past her open window. The weeping willow branches made a perfect cover against the darkness outside and the faint candle light in Snow's room made it too easy to look in from outside. He felt very much ashamed of himself. He wasn't, necessarily, getting a free peep show, because (as he justified himself) he was so struck with her beauty that he was only waiting to gather the nerve to climb in through the window, fall on his knees and confess his deepest love for Snow Waz. "I know who you are," he would proclaim. "And I don't care. Take me as yours and I will defend you against the hounds of hell. Stay with me and I will make you Queen of my domain. You are so beautiful to me - can't you see? You're everything I hope for. You're everything I need." He hoped that she had been in the forest long enough to not have heard that song before. He wanted it to sound original. He wanted it to be from him - from his heart. The other Dweebs were busy with their night jobs. Bonehead and Dumpy had taken Snow's ragged blue jeans and was about to fix all the tears in them when Bonehead had an idea. Let's wash them first, he decided. Dumpy thought it was an alright idea, although he didn't really care. Dumpy didn't care about much anymore, not since he lost his soul mate to a mushroom salesman. The salesman popped into the Inn one day, revealed himself as "something else", according to Dumpy's wife, then popped out of town, with Dumpy's first and only love in tow. He hadn't been the same. In his grief he turned to Bonehead and they had become partners in the garment district. "I wonder," Bonehead had said to Dumpy, "if we even have to repair these pants. I wonder if there is a market for pre-torn jeans?" Dumpy scratched his head. "We could ask Abercrombie, down at the regal wear shop," Dumpy suggested. "He's knows everything about fashions these days," "Yeah," Bonehead returned, "he just brought over from Eastwood that new designer named Fitch." "Well, let's agree that, if we do send this idea to them, that we get credit for the idea. We'll call this new clothing line "Bonehead & Dumpy" - agreed?" "How about Dumpy & Bonehead?" "Oh! Okay!" Bonehead agreed. Bonehead. Sleazy was working on the books. Accounting was getting more complicated than ever, what with the new system that required some knowledge of skills formerly reserved for the elite. One set of books on this new fangled "tape" filled nearly the entire room. Spool the sprocket, wind the wheel, type endless ones and zeroes - all this just to reconcile the fake set of books. He was really starting to sweat when he heard that the Minister of Royal Information Technology (they called him Mr. I.T.) had set everything up so that they could see his records from miles away. Sleazy didn't like letting people know what he was doing. Back under the weeping willow tree, Doc continued working up his nerves, but, all he could do was watch - which was enough for the moment. As he was about to leave, having determined that it was pretty much useless - "how could she love me," he concluded - Snow sat up in bed. The sheet was pulled up to her shoulders and the bottom of the sheet crawled way too far up past her knees. Doc almost passed out. A butterfly flew past his ear. Twinkle flew through the open window, landing on Snow's cheek. Snow lifted her hand, lifted Twinkle onto her index finger, sneezed, and blew Twinkle against the iron bed post and killed the poor butterfly dead. NO! Of course, I was just teasing you. Some people just won't read a good story unless there is senseless violence. And, I needed to get your mind off of poor Doc's thoughts, because that's not what this story is about. Anyway, what Snow actually did was give Twinkle a kiss on her wing. Then, Snow began to sing - an original song no one had ever heard before, because Snow had it hidden in her heart for such a long time. Twinkle hummed along with the tune - because butterflies can't sing.
Snow's Song: (If you want to try to sing along it goes a little bit like "Bus Stop" and a little bit like "Inagoddadavida." Good luck with that one.)
If I act like I don't know you, it's just that I don't know you But, if you could get to know me you might find me wanting you Because I know that I would like you if you would like me, too
If I act like I don't know you, it's just that I don't know you But, if you could get to know me you might find me wanting you Because I know that I would like you if you would like me, too
So, if I act like I don't know you, it's just that I don't know you But, if you could get to know me you might find me wanting you Because I know that I would like you if you would like me to
By the time Snow had finished her song she had moved to the open window forcing Doc deeper behind the hanging limbs of the weeping willow. The candlelight from her bed-stand cast Snow's silhouetted figure across the grassy knoll. Now, Doc was sure that this "Goddess" was waiting for anyone but him. His hope was dashed, fleeing like the leaves that blew in circles of unsure paths driven by the unseen, gentle breeze. The serenity of the evening made even Doc's heart contemplative. He broke his own heart with his own decision that his short-lived love affair with Snow was drifting off to the land of Never To Be. He heard the violins and recognized the prelude, the song in his heart forced its breath from his soul and, right on beat and in tune, he sang: Dumb (as a rock) Doc's Song What's the use in trying, I've been trying for so long If love would ever come to me, I'd be lost with what to do The girl's I've known have never been what I would call True Love They are mostly friends, or so they say
So I say, what's the use? I say, what's the use in trying If love would ever come to me, would it not only fade in time And hurt until it broke my heart and leave me cold as stone like a tree in a petrified forest, is where I'll stay
So, take me to the river and put me on the back of the fastest alligator that is heading out of town I'm leaving in the morning when the winds have all died down Or very shortly after breakfast
-----to be continued-----
end of Chapter SIX (click here to go to Chapter SEVEN)- if link is not active, the chapter is not yet ready. Check back later, please. Please let me know if you have read (and enjoyed) this chapter by sending me a quick email to: ehylandmaze@aol.com bless you.....................................Eugene H. Maze This chapter and all chapters related to this website book entitled "Other Shorts" (copyright 1995, 2005) was written and published by Eugene H. Maze. No portion of this book may be copied, sold or distributed either by electronic or other means in any fashion whatsoever without the expressed written permission of the author. Permission for distribution may be obtained by contacting the author at ehylandmaze@aol.com. Links to this and all previous and subsequent pages of this book entitled "Other Shorts" may be distributed freely without permission.
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