Author's note:  "I admit it - I am a phony!"

V

The Conversion

Rom 12:1-5 I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. {2} And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. {3} For I say, through the grace given to me, to everyone who is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think soberly, as God has dealt to each one a measure of faith. {4} For as we have many members in one body, but all the members do not have the same function, {5} so we, being many, are one body in Christ, and individually members of one another."

I am a converted introvert trying desperately to keep off the old nature by playing the assumed role of the extrovert. Staying an extrovert for over twenty-five years has been harder than staying a Christian.

In fact, I had assumed extroversion was the very core of the new man. Shouldn't the "New You" have to outwardly love and extrovertly teach and baptize.

An Introvert is defined, by the source authority, as "one who would direct one's thoughts upon oneself." It implies a self-centered, perhaps egotistical, personality. In psychology an introvert is a negative and insecure person. 

An Extrovert, on the other hand, defined by the same source authority, is one who is more "interested in things outside oneself than in one's own emotions." In psychology an extrovert is a secure and socially conscious person.

Hogwash, to both, I say!

Of course anyone who knows me well understands my affinity to redefinition. Such is the case I make now. For, to me, an introvert is someone who is admittedly insecure but, neither self-centered nor conceited. Rather, it is the insecurity of the introvert that is mistakenly labeled stand-offish. 

And don't for a minute think that an extrovert is the opposite of an introvert. They are a different breed altogether.

That is why we have the allusion that every introvert who comes to Jesus should be transformed into an extrovert, clearly suggesting that introversion is a sinner's way and extroversion is the righteous person's way. 

This leads us to believe that all christians are (and should be) extroverts, notwithstanding the fact that, if the psychologists are right, an introvert should not have emotions and extroverts should be able to work without emotions.

Of course, who doesn't want to reduce christianity to an emotionless religion!

Introverts, as the apparent less saner lot, are in great need of understanding, but not necessarily in need of conversion to extroversion. It is on that premise I state this case before you.

Called to public speaking I find little other release except to stand up there, exposed - most frequently embarrassingly so; zipper ajar, paper on the heels, left collar up, crooked tie, booger hangin', etc.

Once I thought about getting one of those cut out figures of myself (I want to be like Mike) placed squarely behind the pulpit with a taped message playing and the cardboard arm that would swing up and down with a finger pointing out at the other gathered extroverts[?], or earnest seekers thereof.

I find, however, that a human finger pointing at you has a much greater effect than the introverted cardboard likeness that can't take the blow of the remarks that follow a finger-pointing message - Perhaps, after each message, it would help those aspiring converts to extroversionism if they could burn the paper-thin likeness of me in a fellowship ceremony. And I am sure there are others among them that they would like to throw on the fire, as well.

Of course, I have thought of other forms of extroversionistic extravaganza.

I've wanted to slide down a wire from the balcony to the orchestra pit and come up playing "I'll fly Away" on the saxophone. 

One morning, I did drag in a flat bottom boat. In a suit jacket and tie, rod-n-reel in hand, I fooled everyone into believing it came natural for me. I remember sitting there in that boat facing all those smiling, confused people (confused only about whether there should be a beat up old boat in the holy of holies, not whether I was for real or not) so wishing I were sitting in the pew watching someone else being the Great Extrovert.

Some extroverts I know have for years successfully inspired others to "follow" them. However, Bungee Jumping is only the apparent outward braveness of a pre-conversion extrovert. I think those who were extroverts before they were called to be christian-extroverts should carry a disclaimer: Please understand that the extroversive phenomenon you are about to witness should not be attempted by post-salvation extroverts. These accomplishments are performed by trained, natural and bred professionals and are not designed to give you something to look forward to. Please seek professional help before attempting any of these on your own. We are in no way responsible for the results of any person, living or dead, who may try to emulate us.

Introverts, therefore, must do more than adapt.

Wall flowers, as most introverts are called, cannot simply pop out of the corner and, by miraculous anointing, begin beaming.

If you put a flower in the middle of the room, even if you give it lots of water, it will eventually wiggle back within itself, which is called wilting, and then....die.

But, a wall flower, left to itself, can endure the passing of time, as well as the passing of extroverts who put lamp shades over their heads, making ugly hand prints on the walls as if to say, "Those poor Introverts; without regard, without notice, socially pasted around the outer edges of reality."

Finding out that God is the center of attention (or should be) left me with no alternative but to accept the plain soundness to the truth that introverts must be born again. However, I think I was wrong to be converted to an extroverted lifestyle. 

I don't believe Jesus ever wanted me to adapt to a different part of my environment, notwithstanding the fact that every people group includes wall flowers, lamp shades, silver, gold, wood, hay, stubble; just as every room has what every room has.

Lately I have discovered what He did want - for me to become a "Hero of Introversion." I realize it will take some miraculous extravertical hyper-hype to do it, but I am committed to it. 

I think.

All those times I was being ignored, or worse, talked about ("Can you believe that wallpaper? Yuck! I wouldn't have it in my house!") I was convinced it was because being a wall flower was like an evil leprosy. And, God forbid, if an extro would tire and lean up against me. The people would gasp, the extro would push away, embarrassed, and blame it on the booze, or, if he happened to be a christian extro, graciously excuse himself with judgmental overtones of merely trying to bring some life into the dull existence of the wall upon which he needed to lean.

So, lean on me when you're not strong and I'll be your friend. I'll help you carry on.

But, don't make any excuses for me.

You see, I have decided to convert back to introversionism. I confess to being a Born Again Introvert!
Many people have made smooth transformations from introversion to extroversion. More power to ya! An ex-introvert is probably as powerful (or powerless) as an ex-extrovert, although I have never met an ex-extrovert.

The psychologists are wrong (of course they are)! 

An introvert is a quiet, shy, insecure person whose emotions are so messed up they can't function socially. They are generally so deep in sin that when they find salvation in Jesus Christ they make a slight error in judgment and think that true happiness as a christian is found in a change in personality so drastic they begin to emulate the adrenalin-addicted hyper-extroverts they see on TV (or some such nonsense as that).

An extrovert, however, is best defined as someone I once tried to be.  Other than that I will refuse comment about the extroverts.

Honestly, as you may have been thinking already, I am simply excusing myself from the rat race of co-dependant extroversionism.

And I have faith that we introverts are going to beam and flower and smell and hang around for a long time - now that I have returned.

Oh, by the way, you may see us from time to time off-the-wall (which will succeed more favorably than those who came out of the closets). You will not notice us necessarily. We will be the ones doing stuff for people, for the sheer pleasure of the emotions that arise from serving.

That's what born again introverts do. Things like holding exhausted extro's cue cards or secretly planting our seeds in those places that, at present, have no walls at all for flowers. 

Perhaps you will see us (without malice) converting extrovertial personalities to sanity (there, I said it; my judgmental attitude toward my previous self-centeredness). 

And, of course, you will not even notice us as we willingly give ourselves in the vases upon the coffee tables of homes and churches - in the sacrificial service of our King.


the end

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bless you.....................................Eugene H. Maze

This chapter and all chapters related to this website book entitled "Scripture Shorts" (copyright 1995, 2005) was written and published by Eugene H. Maze.  No portion of this book may be copied, sold or distributed either by electronic or other means in any fashion whatsoever without the expressed written permission of the author.  Permission for distribution may be obtained by contacting the author at ehylandmaze@aol.com.  Links to this and all previous and subsequent pages of this book entitled "Scripture Shorts" may be distributed freely without permission.

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