DARK DAYS ARE FOR HIS GLORY!
(by E. H. Maze)
Chapter 17
I’m Not Responsible for Other
People’s
I have my own baggage. And, even if that baggage gets in someone
else’s way, I find it too difficult to move.
They are going to have to go around.
I know that you already know
what I am about to say, but stay with me - even if it is just to laugh at the
man who took over 50 years to figure out this simple rule of
relationships. I learned that I was not
to feel responsible for other people’s happiness a few years ago. But, not until recently did I finally get to
the point where I had to accept that I am not responsible for anyone’s
unhappiness, either. Not their
pain. Not their anger. Not their bitterness. Not their sins.
Here is how I figured it
out.
I knew the person only well
enough to know that they had their own baggage - In fact, we had matching
luggage. Somewhere, in the midst of our
walk together I was hoodwinked. That
means that I was bamboozled. I was
caught in a spider’s web. Did you now
that when the fly gets caught in the spider’s web that there was a spider with
intentions? I am not proud of that, but
I really am proud of myself for having coined the phrase: For every fly caught in a web, there was a
spider with intentions.
Anyway, during times of severe
condemnation from that party for my part in the dissolution of our relationship
I realized that, just like me, this person was that way long before we ever
met. I was definitely a catalyst for the
explosion of hatred, bitterness and unforgiveness that pursued, but that’s all
that I was. Spewing from the devil’s
mouth were words beyond comprehending - it was the purest hate I had seen in a
long time. It remains, as of this
writing, the worst I have ever seen.
Now, I could have surrendered
to reaching back into my backpack and pulling out my arsenal and keeping the
battle going. Instead, I decided to
listen to the Holy Spirit. Here is what
He said: "You are not responsible for
this person’s feelings. Keep your mouth
shut, because this is going nowhere, because it is not about you. You repented before me and offered
restitution. You have been standing at
the foot of the Cross. I have seen you
weeping. I have seen your sorrow. Don’t let this be about you any longer."
Unforgiveness does not allow those who have discovered things from the
experience to share those learned experiences with the ones who have been
offended - those who would most benefit from the learning experience.
If you have been paying attention, you will have noticed that I set myself up again. Here I am, having messed up again and ripping the skin and muscles off myself; all that is left is yet another skeleton.
How could I put myself through this again? Well, the answer: God only knows. That’s not the point.
The point is that as a sinner saved by grace, I had another time of responsibility, one of those times when I had to decide what to do with this new skeleton. I tried to put it under the blood, but the baggage wouldn’t fit in the closet. So, I carried the guilt, fear, and frustration on my shoulders - and in my head. I was Charles Atlas and the Mummy rolled into one person. I was a wreck.
I was holding myself personally responsible for the unhappiness of another human being. It was devastating to me. Something had to be done. It had to be fixed. There I was holding myself personally responsible for someone’s unhappiness.
Psychologically speaking, somebody or something else in the past had helped
establish the pattern of unhappiness in that person. I triggered their
relapse, but I wasn't he source.
I think you will see yourself
in this book – if you try. Good
grief! You have been carrying all that all-about-you-garbage-thinking
all these years! Lay the sack of lies
and half-truths down for a while and rest as you continue reading this
book. If you want to pick the sack back
up when we are finished you can. But,
the hope is that you decide to abandon it here in the desert where, by the way,
God has led you. You are about to
discover that God has a miracle for you.
And, listen very carefully, it’s BIG, this miracle.
Notice that I never said “had” a plan for you. Let me assure you that you could not have done anything to cause God to relinquish his grip on your future. He has it firmly in His hands. That is why you are here – that is why we are talking and walking together for this short time. To prove my case, as we walk together (yes, we will eventually get back to your pack in case you need it later) we will also take a stroll past the dusty, relic of my own backpack. Man! There is some stuff in that! Some of it may appear quite familiar to you. This stuff is mass-produced by the world.
are you ready for more?.....................
end of Chapter (click here to go to
Chapter 18-19)- if link is not active, the chapter is not yet ready.
Check back later, please.
Please let me know if you have read (and enjoyed) this chapter
by sending me a quick email to: ehylandmaze@aol.com
bless
you.....................................Eugene H. Maze
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