DARK DAYS ARE FOR HIS GLORY!
(by E. H. Maze)
Chapter 16
Skeletons in the Closet
Are Your Skeletons in the
Closet or Under the Blood?
“Tell me again, how are you
two doing?” the Pastor asked.
“Just fine,” we answered in
unison. Then, I added, “Now.”
My wife and I looked at each
other and smiled, turning it into a small chuckle. It had been a long time since we had seen
smiles on each of our faces. The
interview was going well. If I could
land this position, it would be a real boost for my ego, not to mention the
boost it would give to my marriage.
“And your marriage is just fine,
then,” he continued, with a challenging statement that almost sounded
like a question. “I don’t want to bring
you on-board and find out that you two are hiding things. There are no skeletons in the closet?”
Those words “skeletons in the
closet” shocked me. And, they shook me
just like the image that was presented - I could feel the bones of my own
skeleton shaking. Skeletons in the
closet! Of course, I had heard the
phrase before, but to hear them at this particular moment in my life was like a
lightning bolt. Instead of hurting,
however, the statement actually blessed me.
It was a question from the very throne room. Sometimes, pastors can say just the wrong
thing at the right time. Here came a
bolt of revelation. Although the rest of
the interview went well, I was lost in this new image - skeletons in the
closet.
For me, instead of responding
immediately to the Spirit’s presence in the question, I considered a defensive
stance. I will be forever grateful that
I didn’t say what I felt like saying. I
wanted to stand up, get in his face and tell him off good and proper.
“You don’t get it, either,” I
wanted to scream at him. “Why you
untrusting, judgmental little man! You
call yourself a pastor!?” I could have
gone on.
I was on a roll - in my
mind. But, I caught myself. That old pattern of behavior was now so
recognizable (I rather cherished thinking about responding in a way that I knew
I wouldn’t actually respond). I had been
angry for so long. Instead, I reached
over and touched my wife’s hands lying nervously on her lap. I felt something calm down in her. Truthfully, I think she was about ready to
blow up at him, also. She flinched just
slightly when I touched her hand. She
was thinking what I had been thinking.
Maybe she flinched because she was afraid that I would say what she knew
I was thinking. Her big, gorgeous,
trusting brown eyes were fixed upon my own surprisingly calm stare. The old responses were safely under the
Spirit’s control.
My eyebrows raised and I gave
her just the slightest grin. Then, I
lifted my chin and glared at her with a great love (a love that I have always
had for this angel - through thick and thin), as if to say, “Watch this, baby!”
“Can I tell you, Pastor?” I addressed the pastor, although I was still
looking at my bride's big brown eyes.
Then, I turned to him and prepared to tell him the story you are about
to hear.
“Sure,” he agreed.
“Let me tell you about
skeletons…..”
Dear reader, let me tell you about
skeletons. But, first, let me take you to
DIGGING UP THE PAST
I learned an utterly
heart-starting truth during this time:
It is better to remember God’s forgiveness for your failures than to
only remember your failures.
This is where I got that cute
little phrase: Are your skeletons in the
closet or under the blood? Before we deal with the “under the blood” part of this
discussion, let’s first define “skeletons in the closet.” The phrase implies that something is
hidden. “In the Closet” is the expression
used to describe where someone’s skeleton or skeletons may be hiding. And, of course, the “skeleton” would be
something in your past that “haunts” you.
By the way, those dirty little secrets that you never want anybody to
find about are not the skeletons I refer to; the real skeletons in your closet
are those dirty little secrets that somebody has already found out about. You may have skeletons hidden away somewhere
else in your house where no one will ever find them, but this is about
skeletons in the closet, near the front door, where anybody could incidentally
open the door and get hit in the head with a bone or two. Basically, you did something stupid (or
possibly very evil) – a lot of people know about it (or very soon will) – and
the memory of it won’t go away. It is
hidden in the closet, but everybody knows it is there. You try to escape, but, every time you open
the door the bones rattle and remind you of your past mistake.
Our front room entry closet
was crammed full. Our small house
doesn’t have much closet space and between me and my wife and my son, well, we
filled the closets quickly. We have
spent many hours re-stuffing stuff back up on the top shelf of closets
throughout the house. We couldn’t open a
closet door without something popping out at us. It can be scary even when you know it’s going
to happen.
Our past is like that: Skeletons in the Closet. Our past, stuffed into hiding places. We think we have hidden it far enough in the
back of the closet, but, suddenly, it falls in our arms or on our head like a
bowling ball mistakingly placed on a shelf that
slants directly toward your little toes.
Ouch!
Recently, I had a skeleton
come to mind. The enemy wanted me to
live in guilt and fear of exposure. I am
not advocating either denial or some sort of greasy grace - as if to say we can
live in sin and expect grace to abound.
What I am suggesting, however, is that once I recognized that I missed
the mark in that area, that I immediately buried it in tears of repentance and
pleas of forgiveness, which I graciously received from the Lord and the
offended party. Now that the enemy was
bringing it up again, the Holy Spirit graciously reminded me that it was under
the blood. That was a good feeling -
and, a revelation, because now I could put the two together: That my skeletons were not in the closet, but
under the blood.
Briefly, let me tell the
story. A friend came over one day. This friend, whom I had hurt previously,
wanted (needed) to pull the skeleton out of the closet. Now, this particular skeleton was supposed to
be under the blood - but, somehow it mysteriously appeared there just inside
the front door - the closet door flung open by the winds of accusation and
revisited hurts. Funny thing about
skeletons in the closet - the enemy can bring up ghost skeletons and put them
in your closet. But, I guess that’s the
price we pay! It is called “just
recompense” for our sins.
But, I didn’t lose my
hope. Because of the grace I have
received, it doesn’t matter what people think of me or what they can do to
me. What is important is what God knows
and how He chooses to act and react toward me. Were there reasons to be
concerned or fearful? Shouldn’t I have
bombarded myself with all the accusations that come from the wages of sin? After all, I deserved to lose my job and my
friends - at least, someone else felt that I deserved it. I heard my wife say something
the other day that surprised me. It
surprised me because I had been saying it for years and didn’t think she was
listening. She said, “I deserve
everything I get.” That is supposed to
be a tongue-in-cheek kind of statement that comes from the Bible: Whatsoever a man sows that shall he also
reap. It means, of course, not that we
think we should get what we are not getting, but, rather, that, indeed, we get
everything we deserve. Thank God that I
have not had to pay the fullest penalty - His Son did that for me. But, other than that, I do get everything I
deserve - and deserve everything I get.
Okay! Alright already! I blew it!
But, did I deserve to lose my salvation?
Absolutely not! How about my joy? Absolutely not! Should I have lost the affirmation of the
total forgiveness and the great deliverances I had received because of my
sin? Unquestionably, not!
It was amazing! One day I had a good ministry position - the
most financially secure job I ever had in fifteen years of public
ministry. The next day it was gone -
like the wind. But, the most amazing
thing about it was that I had total peace.
On the way home, I heard from God.
Riding my motorcycle up the
Hearing from God is all anyone ever needs.
What a peace!
God knew.
He saw it coming.
He allowed it.
The one thing that I have always known and
believed (and most appreciated) about God is that I know He intends only good
for me - all of us - you, too. So, if He
was allowing this, I was going to allow it, too.
My wife and I were not to be
fooled, however. We knew that the enemy
had opened an old closet door. That was
“why” I was fired, in spite of the fact that the Lord allowed it. Someone opened the closet door and out popped
the old bone man. Next thing we knew all
hell broke loose - again.
Here is the really spooky part. When the
skeleton of our past appeared again we went to the closet. We wanted to get rid of that old
skeleton once and for all. But, it wasn’t
there! We checked the pantry - it wasn’t there; the
garage; the back yard - there was no
skeleton in sight. We dug deep and wide;
checked every square inch of our lives.
Nowhere to be found was any sign of a bone, a sinew, rotting flesh -
nothing.
Do you know what we found out? It wasn’t our skeleton in our closet after all. The skeleton was in someone else’s closet. It seems that other people had our skeletons in their closets. They had stolen our skeletons and put them in their closet. This way, anytime they wanted too (and they wanted to quite often) they could take out our skeleton and show it off.
Showing our past was their way of keeping
their past safely hidden back in the second layer of the closet, behind the
coats.
They seemed to be mighty proud
of their little shaking showcase. It
could be the topic of conversation at the drop of a hat. We often felt our ears burning when we got
near our own closet - probably through some spiritual wavelength.
No one, of course, was ever allowed into their closet. It was easier to just go ahead and bring out our skeletons. That way, they could keep theirs hidden.
Of course, they hadn’t actually gotten a hold of the original skeleton
of our past. The real skeleton was
buried safely and forever under the blood.
Human hands can’t get at that skeleton.
The skeleton that these folks had was fabricated. They must have bought it from some medical
college and assembled it out in their garage.
Oh, it looked like the original.
Not a bona-fide, valid skeleton, but effective just the same. In fact, by now it smelled much worse than
the original. Time, which is supposed to
heal all wounds, can actually bring more and more rottenness if you keep
bringing it up.
Imagine if they could get
their hands on the real skeleton - thank God they can’t - they would not be
able to endure the horror. It was, in
its original state, so devastating an ordeal that the Lord had broken me over
it for weeks. I wept so loudly that the
neighbors must have heard me. I cried so
often; those were times when simply watching a soap opera would make this grown
man cry. Yes, that original skeleton, if
our friends had known the whole, true story, would have struck deep terror in
their little hearts. Their closet, where they housed the fabrication,
would have not been able to contain the original sin.
That fabricated skeleton will
probably always be over at their house - although, I pray it not to be (for
their sake). And, whenever the need
arises, they can pull it out as a reminder of “what they did to correct a flaw
in the
Please don’t hear too much bitterness in my account of the story. Although “Skeletons Under the Blood” can’t be removed, it is safe to visit them - whenever humbling yourself is expedient. I have brought this issue to the light (to the surface, if you will) and once again to the foot of the Cross and placed it under the blood - directly alongside the original skeleton. We have visited this bloody grave sight for the purpose of helping you see how wonderful it is to have your skeletons out of the closet and under the blood.
Jacob had a skeleton in his
closet
Looking at skeletons is an
eerie thing. But, let’s look at someone
in the Bible who had a skeleton. Jacob,
the one who had so deceived his brother on two occasions that it drove a
permanent wedge between them and their parents, was so aware of his past the he
feared the inevitable confrontation with his brother Esau. He saw himself as dead because he knew Esau
would kill him. But, the deserved
retribution never came. In fact, just
the contrary happened. Esau met him with
a heart of forgiveness.
When our past haunts us like a
skeleton in a closet, we need to look beyond and look to God who has already
forgiven us - or, at the very least, stands waiting for us to come to Him so
that He may forgive. God puts our past
“under the blood” and we can walk up to Him at any time and feel accepted. Jacob walked in constant fear of
discovery. Most people hope and dream
that one day something marvelous will happen to them - wealth, a miracle cure,
to be loved; to have their talent discovered.
Jacob, for the most part, dreamed about being discovered, but it was am
awful fear not a hopeful promise. Be
sure, the Bible says, your sins will find you out. And the sooner the better, I say.
Jacob’s fears well-suited
him. After all, he had lived with that
skeleton in the closet for years. I
know, he never had a closet, he lived in a tent. But, you know what I mean. His skeletons were probably hidden under the
sheepskin, or draped over one of the camel’s humps. When you are trying to hide skeletons, any
closet will do. Esau was bound to catch
up with him one day. The marvelous part
of this story, however, is that Esau had buried the skeleton and, then, forgot
about it. When he met his brother, he
blessed him and actually longed to be together again. That’s a good moral for this story. Do you get it? Esau was the one who was hurt. He’s the one who had allowed, in his own
ignorance, his brother to take advantage of him; tricked him out of his
birthright; stolen the blessing from a blind old man. But, when they met years later, instead of
pulling out the past and shaking it in his brother’s face, he chose to walk in
forgiveness. The one who was the most
hurt chose not to pull out the skeleton.
Have you been hurt by
someone? Is it you that constantly and
hatefully remembers the former things; getting high on the mistakes of others
in order to make you feel better? Learn
Esau’s lesson: Put it under the blood.
Your Miracle? Skeletons
in the closet are for others to discover - Skeletons Under the Blood belong to
people who walk in freedom through forgiveness.
You must realize that your
past doesn’t want to be your friend! It
is not right for you to allow your past to hang your rotting self in the closet
of defeat.
WHAT WOULD I SAY TO SOMEONE
WITH HAUNTING SKELETONS?
1. Keep crying.
Maybe it was something you did or something done to you. Either way, trust me, you cannot make it right
- you can’t fix it - ever! Let the pain
soak in. You will never learn the true
depth your own ability to walk in total trust of God until you cry it out. Men!
Don’t be sissies! That’s right, I
said it - only sissies refuse to cry.
Find me a great man of God in the Bible who did not cry out to God,
sometimes day and night!
2. Keep repenting. Doesn’t matter whether you were the one hurt
or the one doing the hurting, you fell short of God’s best through the
situation. You need to turn from your
anger and pain and from your desire to get even - or ahead.
3. Keep humble.
Keep your head high before man and lowered before God.
4. Keep open.
God has a specific date, day and time when He is going to break this
thing off of you. Be ever watchful for
it.
If you will do these things, I
guarantee you that the Lord will come to you.
And, of course, when He does come to you, you will be wise enough (and
fearful enough in His presence) to do what He says.
God has a specific date, day and time when He is going to break this
thing off of you.
My experience with God
throughout these ordeals was so intensely consuming that I feel more than
qualified to say "no one can be too far removed from the opportunity to
have
the same experience."
Yes, when I was going through
this I was hoping to regain what I had lost.
It was, at first, my true motivation.
I began to seek God, not to know His will but, rather, to bend His
will. It wasn’t until I put all that
aside that God was able to reveal the true need: To reveal to me my need to get rid of my
self; to realize how wretched I had become; to weep from that brokenness rather
than from my loss; to be renewed through the tears of true repentance. In fact, I recall the joy I was experiencing
through those tears long before the tears began to subside. There was a time when my crying was turned
from the pain of my sin to the tears that represented the tears of joy!
Are you ridiculing yourself
with questions? Is one of them, “Maybe
you didn’t try hard enough?” Here’s the
answer: Failure comes from trying. In these kinds of situations the old adage of
“those who fail to plan, plan to fail” may not apply. You can’t fix your problems. That’s why they are problems. Our problems are
deep-rooted in carnality. Good God, man! That is why Jesus had to come to earth in the
first place!
This isn’t about anything or
anyone else. This is about you. Stop trying to blame others. And, try to stop beating yourself up. Just because you are the culprit, doesn’t
mean that you can’t instantly change your spots (see the chapter on Leopard
Spots). Remember what I said earlier;
you are not responsible for everyone’s happiness, neither are you responsible
for another person’s insistence to continue to walk in unforgiveness
– even if you were the culprit. If you
have asked for forgiveness, offered restitution (even
if you were denied opportunity), and have chosen to move on, you are assured
of the peace that the Lord promises those who have done such.
Speaking of crying, how have
you cried? I am sure that you have cried
- a lot. But, have you merely cried over
your loss and not from a broken spirit? Are
you undone through a revelation of yourself?
Realize and accept that your loss if forever. It cannot be recovered. The object of His affection is you - not
things or feelings. If he can “recover”
you, that is enough - for now.
If this doesn’t work, if you
are not totally immersed in His loving care at this point, you only have one
hope: start all over again. Retrace your steps and begin the climb all
over again.
GOD DOES NOT SEE AS MAN SEES!
Skeletons in the closet are
for others to discover. You seldom
invite your friends over to show them your past. They have to accidentally (or with intent)
open the door and discover your secret, shameful past. A person with skeletons in the closet is
always walking in fear and self-condemnation - afraid someone is going to open
the closet door of their past and get hit in the head with a bone or two.
Most people, however, will not
let you put your skeletons under the blood.
They can’t touch them there. They
like your skeletons safely tucked away where they can pull them out at
will. It may sound cynical and calloused
to say this, but, just like people who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw
stones, so it is true that people with friends shouldn’t have skeletons in the
closet.
end of Chapter (click here to go to Chapter 17)- if link is not active, the chapter is not yet ready. Check back later, please.
Please let me know if you have read (and enjoyed) this chapter by sending me a quick email to: ehylandmaze@aol.com
bless you.....................................Eugene H. Maze
This chapter and all chapters related to this website book entitled "Dark Days" (copyright 2004) was written and published by Eugene H. Maze. No portion of this book may be copied, sold or distributed either by electronic or other means in any fashion whatsoever without the expressed written permission of the author. Permission for distribution may be obtained by contacting the author at ehylandmaze@aol.com. Links to this and all previous and subsequent pages of this book entitled "Dark Days" may be distributed freely without permission.