DARK DAYS ARE FOR HIS GLORY!

(by E. H. Maze)

 

Chapter 15

 

Jesus is crazy about me

 

Have you ever had something happen in your life that brought about the need for people to laugh at you?  I’m talking about that real kind of paranoia where you feel like your friends (or former friends) sit around and laugh at you behind your back because you did something really stupid.  If you have any friends whom you have heard laugh at others, you can be guaranteed that they are laughing at you behind your back when you do something stupid.

 

Jesus is the best friend you could ever have.  When I found out that He is personally committed to my happiness it changed me in so many ways.  First of all, He never laughs at me.  That is to say, He never makes me the quiet discussion of secret heavenly jokes.  I’m quite sure that I am not the brunt of any heavenly humor, where Jesus leans over and says to the Father, “Have you heard the one about the Eugene who did such and such?” and they both bust a gut laughing at me. 

 

I am, however, convinced that He DOES laugh at me for some of the stupid things that I have done.  But, rather than my being an embarrassment to Him, he gets a kick out of it - and, so do I - now. 

 

Who in this life have I hurt worst than God himself.  Answer:  No one.  Yet, He’s still crazy about me!  He told me that He was crazy about me.  He said it just like that – “I’m crazy about you,” he said.  

 

Wow! 

 

Building Sand Castles Over the Broken Toys of Our Past

If we could all remember that we are just kids in God’s playground (and not take ourselves so seriously) we would be able to get over things more quickly.  I always say that our relationships (with everyone - every single person in this life) should be like two brothers; one has broken the other’s toy and they have a fight, but the next day they have forgotten all about it and are found playing together in the sandbox.  After all, the earth is just one giant sandbox.

 

I’m not writing this to justify my mistakes of how I have hurt people.  When we screw up, we should pay.  But, for how long?  The responsibility of debt for a wrong done does not lay with the person who screwed up.  The person doing the harm certainly needs to make things right, but the responsibility of the return to friendship lies upon the kid whose toy got smashed.  He could hold a grudge or he could bury the past deep into the sandbox of life and build a castle over it.  Look at how Jesus forgives you!

 

You can find this principle is the story of Jacob & Esau.  Jacob lived in fear for too many years, afraid that the brother whose birthright he had stolen, whose blessing he had stolen, would one day find him and kill him.  When the day came (God forced it upon Jacob's heart to return and face the consequences of his actions) to meet his brother he was going to get what he deserved.  Unbelievably, Esau met him with open arms.  Esau had forgotten the past.  He was the one who was hurt, so he was the one who had the greatest opportunity to show God's grace.  

 

Here is your next miracle (Believe me, this will produce a great miracle in your life)  
If anyone has ever hurt you, why don't you try being the forgiver instead of the unforgetter.

 

Your Best Friend is Calling

 

One Sunday morning, during the singing part of worship, the Lord spoke to me some very simple things, not the least of which was, “I call you everyday.”  The reason I needed to hear that was that I was feeling exceptionally alone.  A friend had promised to call and I discovered that he had heard some rumors about me (some of which may have been true, but he didn’t really know that) so he decided that I wasn’t worthy of his time.  It had been six months, so I figured I had gotten the message that our friendship was over.  In fact, I had discovered that my friend had set in motion rumors that others in our circle had decided to believe, which put my wife and I outside the circle. Whah!

 

I found myself alone on Sunday mornings feeling unloved, unwanted, judged, bewildered and rejected.  While surrounded by fellow believers, including the friends who sat smugly by, I was desperately anxious for acceptance – any sign of unconditional love.  I didn't get it.  To this day those friends continue to walk in circles around the issue and the rumors.  We have all moved on and, often, I wonder "What will the day be like when God forces our paths back together."

 

Nevertheless, at the end of those days I heard God say to me, “I call you everyday.”  In that time, I began to realize that He does call me everyday.  He cares about everything I’m going through.  He never tires of me.  I go on and on and on and he never says, “Give it a rest.”  People are calloused and unconcerned, especially with those who need their friends to be friends.  But, we are all merely Fair Weather Friends compared to how God wants us to be.  Still, the Lord calls me and wants to know how I’m doing.  He knows how ticked off I get.  He notices that I cry - He sees me hiding behind my Sunday morning smile - In the middle of worship, His Spirit drives me to my knees and pulls a well of tears from me I thought had dried up long ago.  He shows His love for me by simply understanding that I need a friend in the everyday pain and disappointment of life – He is no doubt my friend who sticks closer than a brother.

 

Okay, so maybe more than a just a little of the rumors are true.  So what?  So I’ve lost a friend or two.  I wish it were not true.  I wish I were a better person.  Do I wish I were the kind of person that my friends think I am?  Probably not.  I am not that person.  That’s why they don’t call me anymore - I’m not the person they thought I was.  To them I am less than the person they thought I was.  To me I am actually much worse than even that.  But, to God, that’s a different story.  He knew me before I knew myself.  He knew what kind of person I was long before my fair-weather friends arrived on the judgment seat - I put them there, by the way, so don’t blame them. 

 

“Hello, Eugene.  How are you?”

“I’m just fine, Lord, thanks for asking.”

“Come on now, Eugene, this is me.  I know better.”

“Well, yes, Lord, I know it’s you, but I can’t tell you how I’m really doing.  You might not like me anymore.  You probably don’t want to hear about how bad I am doing right now.”

“Really, you don’t think I know already?”

“Well, of course, you know.  But, when I open up with others, they get tired of me quickly.  Aren’t you tired of me yet?”

“Come here, you foolish child.”

And He grabs me and squeezes me so tightly that tears flow from every pour on my body.  

 

He squeezes me so hard that the tears are like drops of blood, cleansing me, warming me, 

 

the chillness of my cold heart melting away by a warmth that sears the sin of yesterday’s foolishness.

 

"I HAVE SAVED YOU A SEAT!" the Lord said to me.  "Sit here, next to my Son, while I make his enemies His footstool.  You are free to rest your feet next to His, if you like."

 

I walk into church and notice that there are seats with papers and Bibles and jackets draped across the backs of the folding chairs.  No one is sitting in the seats.  The seats are being saved for friends.  People are milling about, smiling at one another - No!  They are not smiling at one another.  One couple is smiling at another couple, the ones for whom they have saved the seats.  Anxiously, I look for friends who might wave to me, motioning for me to come over to them, hoping that they will show me the special seat they have reserved for me.  It would even be okay if the seat was reserved near the back.  Even if they were to tell me, “Look!  We have saved you a seat.  It is not near us, because, well . . .”   That would be sufficient because all a person really cares about is that someone bothers to acknowledge that he has some value.

 

But, look!  There is a seat, next to two empty seats -- three little chairs in the second row, maybe reserved, but with no sign to tell that.  I wonder if those are special seats reserved for someone very special?  I walk as slowly as possible as the music begins and as those who are milling about wander intentionally to their reserved seats.  By the time I arrive at the second row, not needing to excuse myself to ask if it would be all right if I sat down, the music has started and everyone is standing again.  I stand sheepishly in front of the middle chair of the three, ready at a moment’s notice to slide back into the aisle if someone pushes in to claim their late-reserved chairs.

 

In an attitude of worship, I hear His voice, "I HAVE SAVED YOU A SEAT!" the Lord said to me.  "Sit here, next to my Son, while I make his enemies His footstool.  You are free to rest your feet next to His, if you like."  My heart explodes and I fall to my knees.  Here come those tears again.

 

The Lord has replaced those fair weather friends.  Since the darkness of those days when I was accused of being crazy – when Jesus said He was crazy about me – and when my reserved seats were given to a new set of friends – when Jesus reserved a special seat for me – the Lord has given me a new spirit of hope.

 

I have found such joy in the tears that come from being in His presence!  I suppose, if I ever again have such a friend as a man longs for that I will weep all the time.  But, I doubt that I will ever have that privilege.  It’s okay now, because I have that friend who sticks closer than a brother. 

 

I find, as I grow older, that the Lord has plans for me that are much greater than this world can offer - I am ready to sit where he has saved me a seat and to listen to Him when He calls me.  

 

And I pray everyday that, one day, those brothers & sisters who stole my rights and blessings will notice that I have been saving special seats for them up near the front where the Spirit of God speaks.

 

 

end of Chapter (click here to go to Chapter 16)- if link is not active, the chapter is not yet ready.  Check back later, please.

Please let me know if you have read (and enjoyed) this chapter by sending me a quick email to:  ehylandmaze@aol.com

bless you.....................................Eugene H. Maze

This chapter and all chapters related to this website book entitled "Dark Days" (copyright 2004) was written and published by Eugene H. Maze.  No portion of this book may be copied, sold or distributed either by electronic or other means in any fashion whatsoever without the expressed written permission of the author.  Permission for distribution may be obtained by contacting the author at ehylandmaze@aol.com.  Links to this and all previous and subsequent pages of this book entitled "Dark Days" may be distributed freely without permission.

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